Alone

Have you ever felt like you are living a lie? Do you ever wonder why you do what you do? All day today I have thought about the choices I have made in the last 10 years, but mostly centered on the last 6. I am not proud of what I have done or who I have become. I shell of the person I use to be. I don't know if I have ever been truly happy, but I can say with certainty, I am not happy now.

Actually quite depressed, very lonely, and stuck inside my head where it is very dark. I often wonder if people's lives would be better without me in them or if they had never met me. If I were to walk away from everything tomorrow, would it even be noticed? I honestly don't know.

I've lived a lot of my life surrounded by darkness. There have been those moments where the world shined oh so brightly, but they never seemed to last. A few people have shown me the light, shared the laughter, and taught me to love with wild abandonment ~ can they do it again ~ or do I have to find it for myself this time.

I'm all alone.